What I'm about to tell you is the 100% truth. You're not going to believe me, I know you. But it is the truth, nonetheless. Thousands, yes thousands of otherwise perfectly sane families travel to Florida each and every summer, pay perfectly good money (what is "perfectly good money", by the way?) to go on stage, sit in an inflatable baby pool, and have gallons of a green mystery substance poured all over their heads. See? Told you ya wouldn't believe me.
This phenomena I speak of is none other than the hugely popular Nickelodeon Suites Resort ritual known as "slime-ing". For those of us of a certain age, that can recall waaaay back in the old days of the early 80s, will remember the debut of sliming on ‘You Can't Do That on Television'. Well, slime-ing has come a long way, baby.
While Disney may have perfected the art form of bringing beloved animated characters to life in theme park and resort form, Nickelodeon has gone in a more, how shall we say, messier direction. And I can tell you from our visit, the kids couldn't be happier.
Imagine, for the 2nd grader who is told for 51 weeks out of the year: "Don't touch that, don't play in the mud, don't get your clothes dirty." Well, Nickelodeon Suites Resort's SUMMER OF SLIME provides relief from the constraints of an otherwise slime-less childhood.
When we arrived at the resort, we were escorted to what was modestly referred to as the ‘courtyard pool.' This is the hotel pool on Red Bull. plus a couple of 5-hour Energies. And throw in a Mountain Dew or two while you're at it, green is theme here after all. The best way to describe it is a super-sized Tinker Toy creation, with water spouts and green oozey stuff. Here's a more official description: Named one of the Top 10 Waterpark Resorts in the country - Nick Hotel has two massive pools, a four-story interactive water tower, water slides, flumes, climbing nets, a zero-depth entry pool, a whirlpool and cabanas.
Oh, and did I mention the Slime Squad that will happily pop balloons filled with slime, balanced ever-so-delicately over your children's precious heads? That's free of charge, by the way. There's also something called the "Daily Mass Sliming" (I told you you wouldn't believe me) – that's where this 400-gallon bucket/dump tank contraption spills and splashes SLIME over a gathering of hotel guests. And they're all there voluntarily! They are then encouraged to rinse off in the pool. It's just so awesome.
And in case that's not enough green for you - for the VIP experience – let's go back to that baby pool I mentioned in the beginning. For special occasions (I'm personally thinking this would be perfect for Uncle Freddie's 71st birthday, but I digress) you can book "Studio Nick" where the aforementioned personal sliming event occurs. It's all conducted by those ‘Slime Squad' team members. They even perform a choreographed dance routine while squirting you with the green goo. I'm completely serious.
Add this messy adventure to your 400-gallon bucket-list sooner than immediately. You'll be glad that you did. Plus, you can help back up my story.
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