LSU at Georgia, Ole Miss at Bama headline football TV games - CBS46 News

Couch Potato: Bama on upset alert, Georgia faces LSU, Manziel attacks Hogs

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Ole Miss will try to exploit Alabama's vulnerable secondary; Vinnie Sunseri will have something to say about that. (Source: UA Athletics Communications) Ole Miss will try to exploit Alabama's vulnerable secondary; Vinnie Sunseri will have something to say about that. (Source: UA Athletics Communications)
Aaron Murray will try to light up LSU's electrifying defense. (Source: John Kelley/UGA Athletics) Aaron Murray will try to light up LSU's electrifying defense. (Source: John Kelley/UGA Athletics)

(RNN) - A planet-wide attack by extraterrestrial invaders couldn't pry Couch Potato off his well-worn chesterfield this Saturday. Stupendous football games abound on the TV.

Preparations are complete, supplies have been laid in.

The house is stocked with doomsday-level quantities of chicken wings, nachos, salsa, barley pop, ice, high-caliber long guns and ammunition, fire extinguishers, duct tape, 10W-40 and air purifiers. Bear traps ring the perimeter, and razor wire obstructs all entrances to the domicile.

This week, instead of concluding game summaries with predictions that set college football chat-room morons ablaze with partisan outrage, we're quoting Breaking Bad - which is not a movie, but does happen to be the greatest TV drama ever.

Breaking Bad for six wonderful years has been the second-best reason to perch on your couch and absorb the wonder. Sunday marks the series finale.

Goodbye, old friend.

Walter: We're done when I say we're done.

Saul: We're done.

LSU at Georgia

3:30 p.m. ET, CBS

This could be Georgia's semifinal to the SEC Championship Game. After facing three top-10 teams in September, the remainder of the UGA schedule is comparatively cakey.

LSU is the most balanced, complete team in the league. Multiple misdemeanor-pleading tailback Jeremy Hill - reinstated and reportedly living life the right way – ran wild through Auburn and the pouring rain last week. Zach Mettenberger, who originally signed with Georgia and whose mom works for Mark Richt, is looking like a real, live quarterback. The Tigers' defense is stifling.

Georgia's defense is horrible, and there's not a chance on Earth it will stop LSU. But if it can force two or three punts, that might be enough. The Bulldogs' offense is a miracle. How's this for style: Aaron Murray threw his 100th touchdown pass last week, flinging a sweet, 98-yarder - only the longest pass in school history. Todd Gurley is every bit as good as Hill, and Keith Marshall is close. The offensive line is hay-mower quality, and the battle with LSU's first-rate defensive front will be delightful.

Les Miles is crazy, and Richt doesn't eat grass, but does do some weird stuff from time to time.

This is going to be great.

Tuco: Tight! Tight, tight, tight!!!

Ole Miss at Alabama

6:30 p.m. ET, ESPN

Alabama's offense, with the error-pocked, 49-point exception in College Station, has struggled like an old man trying to twist the lid off a pickle jar. The run game would make Bear Bryant nauseous: after stumbling for 96 ground yards against Virginia Tech, the Tide encored with a pitiable 66 yards against the dwarfish defense of Colorado State.

T.J. Yeldon has not been himself, and Amari Cooper was MIA even before he sat out the CSU game with some kind of messed-up toe or something. The CSU game was like watching paint peel, and Bama led 17-6 in the fourth period. But four other nicked-up starters joined Cooper on the bench (WR Kevin Norwood; OG Anthony Steen; CB Deion Belue and S Jarrick Williams). Yeldon sat out the first quarter for acting ugly in the Texas A&M game.

Everybody's just waiting for the day that Alabama finally buys it. Will 16-point underdog Ole Miss wield the stake?

Quarterback Bo Wallace thinks so. He said Ole Miss has better receivers than Texas A&M, and you'll recall Johnny Manziel, tossing balls to Mike Evans mostly, wrecked Alabama's sketchy secondary. Texas A&M has a better quarterback than Ole Miss, but Bo does have much prettier hair. He takes his helmet off and shakes his golden locks a lot.

Ole Miss beat Vanderbilt, but how big a deal is that, really? It also beat Texas, which would be impressive if you didn't see the Longhorns get steam-cleaned by Brigham Young the previous week.

Everybody's talking, saying the Rebels run one of those spread-out, grass-basketball offenses that send Nick Saban into a tizzy. But Nick himself said, no, it's not like that at all. He said "Ole Miss does a great job with the players that they have," which sounds a little dismissive.

Walter: You clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me? No! I am the one who knocks!

Texas A&M at Arkansas

7 p.m. ET, ESPN2

There was a vicious rumor out earlier this week that Texas A&M was only a 3-point road favorite against the Hogs. After calling every bookie in North America, we learned that was a mistake and canceled our flight to Rio de Janiero.

Arkansas lost to Rutgers last week. Yeah, Rutgers.

And Rutgers didn't have Johnny Manziel, Mike Evans and Ben Malina on their team. On the other hand, Rutgers has a better defense than Texas A&M. All but 15 teams in the nation have better defenses than Texas A&M.

Arkansas has a pretty good defense against the run – 92 yards a game. But the Hogs have played what might charitably be called a weak schedule to date.

This game is worth watching because Manziel will play. At least for a while, then we get to see Matt Joeckel.

Mike: "Shut … up and let me die in peace."

The other ones: South Carolina for some reason plays Central Florida in Orlando, which just seems like asking for trouble; South Alabama visits Tennessee, which needs a win like the Sahara needs a cloudburst; Florida lost its best defensive tackle to an ACL tear this week in practice, but the defense is still good enough to keep Kentucky from coming out of the locker room; Missouri looks like it will remain undefeated against Arkansas State; and UAB travels to Vanderbilt, which would be an interesting competition if the schools' hospitals had a heart-transplant contest.

Mike: "Just because you shot Jesse James, don't make you Jesse James."

Copyright 2013 Raycom News Network. All rights reserved.

  • Who will win the LSU at Georgia and Ole Miss at Alabama games this week?

  • Thank you for participating in our poll. Here are the results so far:

    LSU and Alabama
    46%
    120 votes
    LSU and Ole Miss
    15%
    40 votes
    Georgia and Alabama
    30%
    79 votes
    Georgia and Ole Miss
    9%
    23 votes
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